From the time you walk into a funeral home to the time that you leave, you're showing your support to the family that is grieving a loss. There are many ways to convey the message that your thoughts are with the family -- everything from physically attending the funeral service to a warm hug can send the message that you're there for the family. Among the most important ways to show this support is through your words. You'll typically get a few minutes to speak to the bereaved family and let each member know that you're sorry for the loss and that your thoughts are with everyone. At this time, it's important to avoid making a verbal miscue. Here are three things to avoid saying.
"He/She Is In A Better Place."
The sentiment that the person who has passed away is now in a better place is a commonly used statement at funeral services but can often fail to provide the solace you intend. Even if you're trying to comfort the family by saying this statement, the reality is that each family member would likely rather that his or her loved one would be alive and healthy with the family. Additionally, if the family isn't religious, expressing the thought of the person being in heaven isn't a real comfort.
"I Know What You're Going Through."
You might want to show the family your support by relating to the loss, but even if you've experienced a similar loss, you don't actually know what it feels like to be in the family's shoes. The fact that you've also experienced a loss doesn't really provide any degree of comfort to the family. Additionally, using this statement if a loved one has recently passed away can make it appear as though you're trying to put attention on your deceased love one instead of offer your support and comfort to the family whose grief is still fresh.
"You'll Get Over This."
While families will often move past a member's death and continue to live life, no one is thinking about doing so during the funeral. This is a time for remembrance and mourning so it's an ill-timed approach to tell the family that it will get over this loss. Let each member decide how he or she will overcome this loss individually instead of you trying to explain how things will be in the future. Talk to funeral home, like Farone & Son Inc, for more etiquette pointers.